Where Will I Be In Cyberspace?

Since I do not have Facebook, I figured I would post some links to places online that I'll be updating, for anyone who may be interested.

New Blog (reflections, music updates, other random writing entries, etc): http://stiltstoheaven.blogspot.ca/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/stiltstoheaven

My music page: https://new.myspace.com/stiltstoheaven

Le Fin

This will likely be my last posting on the blog, as there are only five days left out here. I feel nervous regarding how I should go about writing this conclusion. I spent Thursday and Friday writing a reflection letter in class, so I'm feeling trite after such reminiscing. Today I worked on some of the final Dalama Jones songs, took a couple of different walks with some friends, ate chocolate and PB ice cream, and read in Romans. I feel as though I have been productive in respects to my art, and marginally in my brain. I still have yet to clean my cabin, which was supposed to be finished this morning. I am unfortunately lethargic and worn out at the given moment, especially emotionally. On a future-leaning note, I am being baptized in the ocean during commencement on Wednesday. This will be my first and last time fully feeling the cold repercussions of that body of water. I am looking forward to this event. :) In other random news, I have obtained a fascination towards the writings of CS Lewis. I have read around 8 pages of The Weight of Glory during the past few weeks (fairly diligent reading for my friend Mr. Graham, I would say). Here is an excerpt: "The books or the music in which we thought the beauty was located will betray us if we trust to them; it was not in them, it only came through them, and what came through them was longing. These things - the beauty, the memory of our own past - are good images of what we really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself they turn into dumb idols, breaking the hearts of their worshipers  For they are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not yet heard, news from a country we have never yet visited." (pages 4 & 5)

I would just like to take this writing opportunity to thank everybody who made this year possible for me, and to those who simply even thought about me while I have been out here. Thank you so much for your financial support, your prayers, your thoughts, your love. I hope that I can express a heart of gratitude toward all of you. This year included challenges, elation, struggles, depression, anxiety, seeking, discovering. This was such a worthwhile year to me, and this chapter has definitely had an affect on my life.

Sincerely,
Graham Scott Wall  

Perfection and Progress

I was reminded that my time on Earth is not about reaching perfection, but instead, it is about making progress. Perfection will come once I see God face to face in Heaven (which is a thought that is far too brilliant for me to even imagine or explain). I'm not satisfied with happiness, since it is after all, just an emotion. Not to say that emotions are not important, but they do all die away eventually. That's part of what fascinates me about joy. It is something that goes further than emotion, even though it is often misinterpreted as pertaining to that category. I've experienced glimpses of joy in my life, but joy in its fullness is waiting for me. The promise that God makes to those who give their lives up to him is astounding. I take joy in the fact that I can get to know Christ on earth and eventually see God in his fullness. A person cannot be defined by their circumstances, appearance, interests or experiences, as these only remain on the surface level of existence. Every body contains a soul, which I believe is the only part of us that lasts forever. It is what guides our soul that defines who we are.

S.T.I.L.T.S.

I will be done with making music under the name Dalama Jones after I finish two more projects (Home and The Dmitri Chronicles). However, I am already working on a new project, under the name S.T.I.L.T.S. (which is an acronym for Six Thousand Interlaced Lies, Truths, and Shadows). It is partially biographical, partially not. I'm not totally sure what it will sound like, but there will be singing (along with some screamos thrown in for good measure) this time around. Yes, I did intend to say screamos. I have quite a few lyrics written already ... and the cover artwork is finished. I am really looking forward to this project, and anticipate working on the music. 

 

Here is a sample of some lyrics: 

The angel danced around her halo

before it went upon her head

The sleeper wakes up

to aching eyes and sore arms

But does the sleeper find God before he awakens?

The angel stares at her halo

before knocking at the door

The sleeper goes to bed

with feelings tied in unrest

But does the sleeper find God before he awakens?

He wants to see with open eyes

He wants to see Your open arms

But he’s blinded from the answer

while the angel dances around her halo

He sifts through sand in search of stones

And thinks that cuts might bleed some hope

But he’s tired of red

And he’s tired of the piercing edge

He wants to see with open eyes

He wants to see Your open arms

But he’s blinded from the answer

while the angel dances around her halo

Recent Memories From Seattle

Back From Seattle

About a week ago I arrived back to the campus from Seattle, so I thought it would be apt for me to elaborate on my time there. I've been feeling quite poor lately in a lot of ways, but I'm hoping I can still write about my time there and have it make sense.

We did a number of different tasks at the shelter which included: serving meals, organizing and cleaning rooms / storage spaces, spending time with the kids, outdoor work, and more. Being around the kids there went better than I thought it would. I didn't spend a lot of time around them, but when I did, I felt as though it went okay. I read a story book to some Kindergarten students (Engine, Engine, Number Nine), and helped with some Math and Spelling. It kind of made me miss working on Math worksheets. I'd like to try out some Grade 11 Math problems and see how far I'd get without giving up. I also spent some time with a few kids who were around the ages of 10 - 12, and hung out with a kid named Daniel, which was really fun. We played a lot of rounds of Uno, tried out volleyball with a balloon, and just goofed off.

I was nervous about socializing with the women at the shelter as well. However, we didn't have as many opportunities to socialize as I thought we would, since we spent a lot of time working around the building. I did talk to some of them a few times, but I didn't get into too many conversations. I learnt that people can appreciate your actions though, and learn from them. After we were finished our two weeks of work, we were called to the front during one of the morning meetings (which occurred nearly every morning), and many of the women thanked us for being there. They observed how we worked with each other, and were so appreciative of how we worked. I can't remember exactly what was said, but they said things along the lines of us "bringing love into the building". That was such an encouraging part of the trip to me. I was also really encouraged when the staff thanked us. I was reminded that asking something as simple as "How are you doing?" can be healing to a person. Showing care is a struggle of mine a lot of times.

Going to Seattle was difficult for me, but it was worth it. In the paragraph following this one, I will document some of my struggles through some thoughts I wrote down in my notebook on a Sunday morning.

"Do you believe Jesus is God?

The Bible says that Jesus Christ is the only Savior. Do other religions / spiritual books speak against different teachings / teachers / religions?

What does it mean to really believe?

It's so difficult to believe that a situation like the crucifixion could actually happen. I'm a physical person, surrounded by physical people, physical objects, physical places. How can I believe that something supernatural could happen, when I'm in this physical, limited world? There is an ache inside of me that wants more, but is that simply greed / selfish ambitions? Maybe not, because I want to give my life up for Christ. Is this physicality all that I have?

Will I make the choice to seek something above myself, or will I doubt that there is anything above the human condition? If I seek something above myself, something not man made, I believe that I could find something more. If I doubt that there is something above me, I will spend my life trying to prove something that is truly meaningless. But how can you argue against the possibility that we are all wasting time living without much care, or seeking something more that does not exist? If there wasn't something past physicality and man made objects, why would I (and many other people) spend time debating on whether or not a higher deity really existed? Where would all these religions come from? But ... there are also some people who are satisfied , who don't care about their soul. What about these people?"

As you observed, this was a time where I was debating with myself a lot. Many times I really have trouble believing that there is something more out there. 

I'll close with one of the key lessons I learnt on this trip, through a piece of a poem that I'm working on ...

You hang above me
Yet you're under my skin
You are more
You are more than the body I wake up and fall asleep in every morning, and every evening

I will hopefully be posting some pictures tonight. Thanks for reading.

Sincerely,
Graham

T-Shirt Design

I have been working on a T-Shirt design for an upcoming youth retreat at Capernwray, so I thought I would share it: