At This Moment

I don't even really know what to write at this moment. I feel lost again, but then again, we must all be lost or confused in some form or another, right? I feel far from God, and when I pray for desire, I don't feel like it's coming. But maybe I need some patience? I know that I could use more of that. I've been seeking alone time, but it's hard to get. People are everywhere, and I'm not used to having this little time to myself. Maybe I should invest in those opportunities instead of looking for a quiet place to go, even though I really want that. Jesus did that in Mark chapter 6 ... is it wrong for me to remain by myself when people ask if I want to spend time with them? I'm out of energy and somewhat overwhelmed ... headaches, nervousness, stomach aches, recognizing the hurt of other people, wondering if I really feel hurt ... so focused on my feelings. I was reminded numerous times this week about the danger of complaining. I really like to complain at times, usually about small predicaments ... but it's something I know I should work on. Tomorrow I'll be performing some music at Cornerstone (with my Groove Machine, the Yamaha DJX - IIB), so I'm sort of looking forward to it. Pretty nervous, but I've been practicing, so hopefully it goes okay. Busy with preparing that, working on my study project, weekly journals, getting ready for the talent show on December 8. Who have I been lately? Am I myself? This is unstructured, my head hurts, and I don't know how to express what's going on ... many different confusions are juxtaposed inside, and I seem to be having trouble with sorting them out.

Album of the day: Alexisonfire - Watch Out!