surrendering

Surrendering to God is not easy ... but I made the decision to last night. One of my friends / an LTS here talked with me for around an hour (which I truly thank him for), and I prayed to God, giving up my life to Him. I recognized that the way I was living before was getting me nowhere, as my days were spent in waves of meaninglessness. I have so many questions about God, questions in general, doubts ... it won't be easy, but I need something that is greater than myself. I am striving for a growing relationship with God, and to follow in the ways of Jesus Christ. I know I will mess up numerous times, I understand that I will never reach perfection. But I want for my life to have meaning. Last night / today, my thoughts have shifted quite a bit. I already seem to be focusing on God more, and I've been thinking about Him / praying today. I feel content in a sense, content that I am starting at a new point. I feel uneasy at the same time ... I don't know what's coming for me. Following God doesn't automatically equal a happy and blissful life, as pain is unavoidable. But meaning is so crucial ... I don't really know how to end this, as my thoughts are all over the place right now ... but for those reading, thanks :)